Marriage is something I pondered deeply for a very long time. I think it started as early as high school (maybe that’s not too early for some of you). So I always wondered who my spouse would be (I guess this is everybody’s search and meaning until they find that one person), what kind of husband I want to be and especially what kind of father I would want to become. So from early on, I was pretty serious about this whole marriage thing. So I would ask my mentors to give some marriage advice and recommend any books to read. I received genuine and wise counsel from all of them.
Thankfully two years ago I got married to a beautiful woman. But to look back the two years I regretfully admit I haven’t put much thought into what marriage was about. I was busy living. So I guess this is why anniversaries are important after all. It is to remind ourselves the covenant we took with God and all the people.
I am thankful for such days and moreover, I picked up a book (that has been sitting on my shelf for more than two years) which had a tremendous impact on my vision for a Christian marriage.
I want to share an excerpt which resonated with me wholeheartedly which talks about what an ideal love should be in Christ:
Within this Christian vision for marriages, here’s what is meant to fall in love. It is to look at another person and get a glimpse of the person God is creating and to say, “I see who God is making you, and it excites me! I want to be a part of that. I want to partner with you and God in the journey you are taking to his throne. And when we get there, I will look at your magnificence and say, ‘I always know you could be like this. I got glimpses of it on earth, but now look at you!’” Each spouse should see the great thing that Jesus is doing in the life of their mate through the Word, the gospel. Each spouse then should give him- or herself to be a vehicle for that work and envision the day that you will stand together before God, seeing each other presented in spotless beauty and glory.
Most people when they are looking for a spouse, are looking for a finished statue when they should be looking for a wonderful block of marble. Not so you can create the kind of person you want, but rather because you see what kind of person Jesus is making. When looking for a marriage partner, each must be able to look inside the other and see what God is doing and be excited about being part of the process of liberating the emerging “new you.”
The Meaning of Marriage by Tim Keller (Riverhead Books, 2011)